Distracted by shiny things

• Education: still getting firsts on essays and not speaking in class, had to submit dissertation title and synopsys on Friday, came up with that in the process of filling in the form, oops, inconsistent performance when it comes to presentations.
• Friends: somehow balancing Ox and LSE people pretty well, though lately have seen a lot more of the latter, but have been doing lunches with the former, some new people that are a lot of fun.
• Travel: Yeah Morocco was very recent and I have no money but am going to Barcelona at the end of term, the whole of my course is going, it is going to be an educational trip, it was the idea of our tutors and we are going to have classes. This is so totally valid!
• Love: that dreaded day was only a week ago, was going to post a rant against it but had to get ready to go out and ran out of time, did have a surprisingly fun, drunken and debauched evening, more generally things are confusing me from more than one direction
• London: I adore this city, had a plan to do cultural things and that was going pretty well at the start of term with a visit to Tate Modern, the theatre and ballet, but then there was snow and essays, have been walking everywhere, oh how relative distance is
• Oxford: went to Oxford for the first time since since finals, it was wonderful of course, beautiful and cold and I realised how much I missed the familiarity of the streets and Univ and the Covered Market and everything else.
• Job: nothing to report here, haven't applied anywhere, because I am a failure.
• Cinema: Have recently seen Slumdog Millionaire and Milk, though very much enjoyed both, maybe Milk more, thought that may have a lot to do with being in the most luxurious cinema ever.
• TV: Heroes: it's okay, the last few eps especially, but I will never forgive them for Nathan, Gossip Girl: continues to be awesome, it's not like I watch it for a realistic representation of teens, L word: can make me really angry, and I know the ending will upset me, but still highly entertaining, Skins S3: I enjoy it, though it really has thrown reality out of the window and contains a character I want to kill.
• Fandom: I miss Merlin, have developed a mad love for AUs, maybe will post some recs soon.

Things that I might have said today:

•          While crossing the High Street: “What do you think will be better, if you get hit by a bus before your first exam or after your last?”

•          “Snow, beautiful snow” said with a manic grin while throwing the shredded remains of a napkin at dinner.

•        “This is what my brain looks like right now” After repeatedly squishing a plastic cup “Empty and with holes”

•         “Boxes, boxes, boxes!” to everyone in the library and later to self like a mantra after discovering the secret to creating mind maps which are legible.

•        “You know, I don’t know anything, but I keep hoping that all the revision wouldn’t have been in vain and somehow magically things will pop in my brain when I need them”

1. It is very cold and crisp, walking through the starlit quads at night gives me such a wonderful feeling of happiness and content and a general sense of belonging. Cannot quite believe that on Saturday I will be going home for just under six weeks. Will miss Oxford and all the wonderful people I have met, Ahmed's Kebab Van, Ben's Cookies, The Bodleian, even Hall food! Well, not that last one, but still. Also my room, can't believe candidates will sleep here whilst I am gone, can't believe it has been almost a year since my own interview. Remember exactly how terrified I was.
2. FRANZ FERDINAND tomorrow, hopefully will be able to get to Alexandra Palace, not sure how exactly. Thought that I could stay the night in London, but not sure anymore, as don't know where and will have to be back at college for 11 on Thursday for an important meeting.
3. The vast majority of my friends are at a Ball tonight, I didn't go because have not got a spare fifty quid for a ticket or a dress, instead went to Sainsbury's and bought bread then went to the JCR and watched Trainspotting, had not seen it and it was one of those films I have always wanted to see. Um, I did like it, but I am not sure why and I want to see it again.
4. Had lovely dinner with the other people that do PPE here and then watched The Rules of Attraction, omg how awesome was that, yes I am shallow and Ian Somerhalder kissing boys is enough for me to squee over a film, I cannot believe there is no fic in which Sean/Paul happens in a more real way than Paul's daydreams. I want to read the book.
5. I am sure most of you have seen this, however OMG so awesome! You put in music you like and it makes you a radio station that consists of what you said and similar songs, it is awesome and so far no adverts.
6. Last Bop of term is on Friday, theme's Fantasies. I am sure there are other ways to interpret this, but my interpretation is sexual, have not completely decided on a costume, but am leaning towards a nurse's outfit, because one of the themed nights for the Ski trip is Pirates and Nurses so I will end up wearing it again. The other is white trash. Ugh.
7. Lots of people have already decided who to marry for next year, we get to be College parents for next year's freshers and I don't know who to marry! Wah, I didn't want to marry a PPEist and so my closest friends have found someone and now I don't know who to marry. Wangst, I know, heh. Will propose to someone as soon as I have figured out who I want.
   
8. On Saturday had first cocktail party, to celebrate the end of The Christ Church regatta (rowing competition), I couldn't care less about rowing, but dressing up and going to Freud's, a gorgous converted church was well worth it. It was an amazing night, everyone thought I was drunk and I only had two drinks! Grasshoppers are awesome, I love chocolate minty things, chocolate Mint Bliss at Starbucks is like the best thing ever!
9. Have only a bit of logic left to do and no more tutorials this term, finishing off the last economics work was sort of hell, but it was then that I realised how happy I was. It was one am, I was wondering around college, (had to retrieve a copy of my text book from a friend's room where I'd left it), it was ridiculously cold, I'd slept too few hours the night before. And yet, I felt sort of elated, it is hard to explain why really. I hadn't even started writing up the three short (two page) essays due in the next morning. I think it had something to do with running into people on the way there and back and stopping for casual chats despite the late hour, seeing the lights of the other PPEists and knowing they too are working on this, calling them at half one to go buy chips and cheese as a break. Sleeping for four hours and still somehow making it to the 10 o'clock lecture. Um. Yeah, I am a freak. :))
10. I bought Christmas Cards, they are wondreful and have snuggling polarbears and penguins!!

• Beautiful Harry/Cedric art by lizardspots: Bubbles R, and K-I-S-S-I-N-G, PG.
• Kissing is accompanied by Get A Clue by emmagrant01, which is so utterly adorable and happy that you almost forget the doomed ending.
• This is not the case with Everything You Want by iscaris which was incredible but you will need a tissue

I've always wanted to live in a big city, but one day in London was quite enough for me, the number of things that happened to me today is almost unbelievable. (police with guns, being evacuated, getting lost, joining a mob, shouting at the angry mob, running away from the angry mob, etc etc) My cousin from Bulgaria is visiting and today me and a friend took him to London to do all the touristy things, I was a bit nervous about going, but at the end of the day we can't be afraid forever.

Spend entirely too many hours shopping today and as a result bought absolutely nothing. Zilch. I really wanted to buy something, I tried lots of things on but didn't like anything enough to buy it. I did however see Mr and Mrs Smith and really liked it, which is surprising considering the lack of plot and the constant fighting, but then again I've always known I am shallow and the hotness of the film was too much to be allowed, it was funny too which helped. Also, Adam Brody was in it and I love him. He also brings me rather nicely to the OC's season finale which finally aired here today, I was spoiled but some bits did surprise me. ( Thoughts including spoilers )

I have been reading the fics from big_bang_hd, so far I've read Wheel of Fortune and Queen of Hearts, it has been entirely too long since I've read any long and plotty H/D fics, especially post OotP ones and those two were really good for very different reasons, can't wait to read the other two.

My computer clearlly hates me, and it is not ON! It is just so random with things working and then not working, MSN logs me on and off just like that and now refuses to work at all and the number of pop ups I get is ridiculous. I suspect I have a virus or spy ware or something and it sucks as I have no skill or time to attempt to fix it. Mmm, not a good opening for a post, but I had things to say and now can't remember them, so..

I feel like this past week just flew by and I had plans to do things and go through a lot of revision, which sort of didn't happen. And so now I am all omg, need to catch up and it is so boring because I have done it before and retaking sucks anyway.

Another thing that sucks is Big Brother, I don't like any of them and I haven't even watched it. My mind is made up and this is a very good thing as it will mean that I won't get ridiculously obsessed and watch it like I did last year during study leave. Before last year I proclaimed to the world my hatred for Big Brother and how pointlessly stupid it is, but then I started watching it... I do get so easily obsessed, it's not even funny, but in my excuse last year's BB was really quite awesome, I loved all the people or at least hated them, which is pretty much the same. *expects massive defriending* I *know* it is awful, but I can't help it.

Friday was the hottest day ever and I was alone in the library (we finished last week, but had to go in for revision sessions, so it felt like the last day for real, but won't get into that now. I don't count it as over until my last exam) and I couldn't concentrate on anything, it was just that hot and so I wrote fic. I feel ridiculiusly proud, as it has been ages since I have written anything, and I sort of like it too. It is not finished, but I will finish it and post it and yay, fic!

Also, I went to a party on Friday, with people from my old school, it was nice, because I could tell myself that even though I moved away I still keep in touch and the same thing will happen with people from my current school and keeping in touch is possible and easy. I could say so and believe it, because I am still invited to the parties, still talk to them on MSN (when it lets me log in) and am the only one of the people that left to be going to their Prom. So looking at it from this perspective, then I did manage to keep my friends. And yet, and yet it is really not the same at all. It is months between each time I see them and the prolonged time means that we have nothing much to say to each other, especially if all of us are present (10 people) and at the party I felt so isolated, like I didn't belong. Not to say I was separated or didn't talk to anyone, I did, but I just wasn't one of them any more. And how can I be, they see each other every day I am just someone they see once every couple of months and we have grown apart, have very little in common and it is sad, so sad. It makes me think that that same thing will happen with my friends from my curreent school and I don't want that to happen. Meh, this has no point, also I don't know why I never use my school's name or people's names for that matter, I just feel odd and never do it. With pictures too, I could never post pictures of my friends on LJ, I would feel like I am disrespecting theit privacy, which is silly, but I just can't help it.

Going to bed now, because I feel dead and my right hand really aches. I am not sure why.