Distracted by shiny things

I am so BORED!

I am supposed to be writing an essay, I *am* writing an essay but I am so bored of it that I am doing everything possible in order to avoid it, mainly eating but also checking my email a million times. I was good this time, spend all day yesterday in various libraries doing all the necessary reading, have way too many pages of notes, some are even relevant, and know exactly what each paragraph will consists of.

This is a problem. I know so much that writing it up bores me to tears. I don't understand how people work with plans, especially when it comes to creative writing, how the hell do you do a detailed plan and are then interested enough to carry on?

It must be a gift that I will never possess, and it's been so long sinse I have actually written anything (creative, not essays unfortunately).

I guess I should add something constructive seeing as I am updating and all...

Um.

• I didn't get a ticket for the Snow Ball and I really wanted to go. :(
• I have so much work for the next couple of days I suspect I won't get to do any of the fun things I want to do. 
• We have a Pink! Bop on Friday and money will go to Breast Cancer research, it's at the same time as Tolkien soc's Fireworks party, the HP soc's Halloween Feast and a film I want to see. Decisions are evil and should die.
  
• I survived my first economics tutorial and even somehow did well on my essay, even if my graph was completely different form other people's it was apparently correct.
• I had a half seven Fire Drill yesterday morning and thought it was 2 o'clock and panicked and left my key in my room, thankfully after checking they'd left the door open.
• I should go back to my essay now even though I want to have ice cream and possibly pizza instead.
• I have tried to catch up with flist but if you think I have missed anything crucial please link me.
• I have no bread but I do have cheese and biscuits.
  
• I want to do something but lack the courage to do it.
• I feel so restless and full of pent up energy but can't afford the time wasted of going to Yoga, should not have updated.
  

Note to self:

After hours spend RPing on AIM do not exit the conversation after the other person has signed off before you have saved it, it is likely to save you a lot of grief.

Yes I am an idiot, have calmed down now, but am still very annoyed with self.

The good things: (as a sort of contrast)

1. I can *so* do reverse parking! My first lesson on reversing ever and I pwn it!

2. The Dark Lord added me to his friends list, I feel so honoured. (darkandsinister )

3. I have a new layout, will probaly change it more soon, but for now I loves it. Look!

4. Harry Potter iPod, yes they are expensive and silly, but who doesn't secretly want one?

5. I keep making icons, I even downloaded fonts, so future icons might have text. In honour of that if you comment I will make you an icon, I like simple icons so don't expect 10 gazillion filters, it will be pretty though.

Now your go, even if things have gone wrong today, there must have beens something that's made you smile!

My computer clearlly hates me, and it is not ON! It is just so random with things working and then not working, MSN logs me on and off just like that and now refuses to work at all and the number of pop ups I get is ridiculous. I suspect I have a virus or spy ware or something and it sucks as I have no skill or time to attempt to fix it. Mmm, not a good opening for a post, but I had things to say and now can't remember them, so..

I feel like this past week just flew by and I had plans to do things and go through a lot of revision, which sort of didn't happen. And so now I am all omg, need to catch up and it is so boring because I have done it before and retaking sucks anyway.

Another thing that sucks is Big Brother, I don't like any of them and I haven't even watched it. My mind is made up and this is a very good thing as it will mean that I won't get ridiculously obsessed and watch it like I did last year during study leave. Before last year I proclaimed to the world my hatred for Big Brother and how pointlessly stupid it is, but then I started watching it... I do get so easily obsessed, it's not even funny, but in my excuse last year's BB was really quite awesome, I loved all the people or at least hated them, which is pretty much the same. *expects massive defriending* I *know* it is awful, but I can't help it.

Friday was the hottest day ever and I was alone in the library (we finished last week, but had to go in for revision sessions, so it felt like the last day for real, but won't get into that now. I don't count it as over until my last exam) and I couldn't concentrate on anything, it was just that hot and so I wrote fic. I feel ridiculiusly proud, as it has been ages since I have written anything, and I sort of like it too. It is not finished, but I will finish it and post it and yay, fic!

Also, I went to a party on Friday, with people from my old school, it was nice, because I could tell myself that even though I moved away I still keep in touch and the same thing will happen with people from my current school and keeping in touch is possible and easy. I could say so and believe it, because I am still invited to the parties, still talk to them on MSN (when it lets me log in) and am the only one of the people that left to be going to their Prom. So looking at it from this perspective, then I did manage to keep my friends. And yet, and yet it is really not the same at all. It is months between each time I see them and the prolonged time means that we have nothing much to say to each other, especially if all of us are present (10 people) and at the party I felt so isolated, like I didn't belong. Not to say I was separated or didn't talk to anyone, I did, but I just wasn't one of them any more. And how can I be, they see each other every day I am just someone they see once every couple of months and we have grown apart, have very little in common and it is sad, so sad. It makes me think that that same thing will happen with my friends from my curreent school and I don't want that to happen. Meh, this has no point, also I don't know why I never use my school's name or people's names for that matter, I just feel odd and never do it. With pictures too, I could never post pictures of my friends on LJ, I would feel like I am disrespecting theit privacy, which is silly, but I just can't help it.

Going to bed now, because I feel dead and my right hand really aches. I am not sure why.

Well then, today has been the shittiest day ever.

On the way home it rained, and I was completely soaked, two minutes after I got home, the sky was blue and the sun shined.

Then my dad came home to tell us that someone broke into his car and stole his laptop, his phone and his wallet with all his cards and driving lisence etc. Luckily it is a work laptop and will be replaced, even though some of the work is gone. This in itself is awful enough, but what makes it worse is that all the pictures from America were there, or in the memory stick that is also gone and the CD too was there he thinks. Which means the photos are gone, and photos are memories and I feel awful for caring more about them then anything else, but I hate forgetting

:(

Arghhh! I just typed up a loong entry about my night out and the oddest dream ever. And it was a good post too and my dream was long and detailed and I wanted to remember it dammit! I hate it when LJ eats my posts, but this time it is entirely my fault. Because I wanted to save it just in case it doesn't post, so I highlighted it all and pressed paste!!! Yes, paste, and in the place of my entry tere was a fic I recently wrote. I am angry also stupid.

But I am now amused, because I received a letter. A survey from my constituency's Conservative Candidate! hahahaha. Like I would ever vote for him. At least I now know his name, whats with men named Iain being Conseravitive, it's an odd name too. Still. So amused. I haven't got any other pre-election mail. Unimpressed, Labour, unimpressed. I think I will fill the survey, they even included an envelope. How thoughtful.

First of all, I have to say that I am done and all exams are behind me. I think I did well, but we'll see, from this point on I am not ever mentioning these exams, and that's a promise.

Now, I haven't been updating recently not because of post exam (that doesn't count!) celebrations, but because of a string of internet problems. angeline_dark I hope you got my email, so you know I wasn't just abandoning you. What happened involves AOL morons and their decision to cancel our account  while we are still paying it. After numerous long phone calls it was all sorted out with the minor glitch of two weeks before we get back our broadband. In the mean time we have dial up, which for some inexplicable reason refuses to work on my laptop, so my contact with the internet will be a lot less and far in between than I'm used to. Which will be annoying as I am alone at home for the remainder of the week, with the only entertainment being Big Brother, which is saying something.

Oh, I nearly got a job, but then I really didn't want tit, so didn't go to the interview. It was a bit strange since I've been looking for awhile, but yesterday I was out shopping and this woman stopped me on the street to asked me if I'm interested in part time work. The pay would have been good, but the job awful, it would be in a call center, so I would've had to endure people being rude to me as I'm attempting to sell them something or other. Plus it was in the morning, so I was feeling far too exhausted (got up at 5:30) and hangover (post exam celebration). Ooh, while I am on a perconal note, am now the proud owner of pink stilettos with a glittery flower, also the miniest skirt ever. Feel good to be able to go out, I'd forgotten what it was like to be able to just watch some tv, without feeling guilty.

On writing: am being very productive recentrly, but can 't actually post anything, as everything is on my laptop. But in two weeks I will be flooding this with not especially well written murder by number fics, and a couple of HP ones. This unfortunately means that I might not be able to beta anything, although I'll try my best to get the other computer working.

Am, so behind on everything, no way I can catch up, at least was able to save LUW before everything happened, and now that I've read it,  need to write a long and fangirly review to Aja, as it was absolutely brilliant.

Yesterday was a really hard day for me, and yet I managed to finish everything I had to do, including most of my media coursework. So, I did the whole of the Broadsheet, have written the tabloid story, all I needed to do was take one photograph and I was done. It was all in my laptop, with none of it written on paper, no copies of it and no stories emailed to my teacher (which I had to do, but didn't) So I finished it yesterday and it was really late, so I decided to print the stories separately to show them to my teacher in the morning. So unaware of what was to come, I switched it off, leaving it connected to the power supply, like I always do.

So, I wake up this morning with the full intention of printing these, press the button that turns it on. And wait. Wait some more. Wait... With nothing happening! My computer decided to DIE!!! So it is dead now, apparently the power thingy in it burned out or something like that, I don't have a clue with things like that, the fact is that it FUCKING DIED on me! Just when I needed it, so I have made my conclusion, I hate all computers. HATE them all! So the coursework is due in next friday, and I don't even remember my stories and cannot find the picture that was absolutely perfect. There is still hope that it can be fixed and recovered, but according to my dad it can't possibly be done for friday. So, yeah I am fucked.

And we had that maths test today, which was so impossibly difficult that I am hoping to get about 5%. Luckily our teacher wasn't here, so we had mr Burke cover us, who is nice not to notice our cheating. (He is my politics teacher, at this politics test I asked him  what the answer to one of the questions was and he explained it to me in great detail) So the whole class was doing the exam with open text books, talking and asking each other, and we are all still definitely going to fail. This thought caused us to laugh hysterically during that lesson. I do think laughing is marginally better than crying.

So that was my day, now I am off to search for the guarantee for my 6 month old laptop which I don't know where it is, and then have to start writing the three English Essays due in tomorrow.

Today was boring and I am incredibly tired, sleeping less than six hours a night for the last three weeks is catching up to me.

I just wanted to say that I am part of the committee for organizing my school's charity week. Am really happy, because there were about 50 people and they picked 15 names out of a hat. So they picked ME! This is actually amazing, I never get chosen for anything, ever. The sad thing is that I am not excited because I want to raise money for whoever we are raising money, but because I finally have something to put in my UCAS form! And I had nothing before, absolutely nothing! I think that since I don't seem to be able to find a job (Asked in about 30 shops, gave in 10 application forms/CVs, received 0 phone calls) maybe I should do some volunteer work to get some experience, and help people of course. And it will be another thing I can add in my UCAS, university applications are really horrible, not only you need to have brilliant results, but also have numerous hobbies, and do things that benefit the local community. Bullshit. Did they ever think that some people may want about an hour a week to, I don't know, have a life?

It’s New Years’ Eve in two days, as everybody probably knows, and it is the night with the biggest parties of the year. Or it is supposed to be, at least for the people that have a life or are eighteen, or something. Well this year little 17 year old me was going to join them. I was going to go out with my friend and spend the night dancing getting drunk and probably kissing random people in some club. But as you probably have already guessed the fates are against me, or rather my parents. I naturally assumed that I am allowed and well I kind of asked and I thought that my mum nodded. My friend even went and bought a new outfit complete with pink shoes and a bag. And it turned out that I am well too young to be going out at the most dangerous night bla bla… ok I see the whole underage issue but I am not going to change much in nine months am I? I think not, and despite what I sound like I am a very mature person. So, my parents are convinced that I cannot go out without sleeping with some random stranger or doing drugs, which is ridiculous and they should know that, they think that the club will be full of dangerous drunken men whose only purpose is slipping drugs into the glasses of innocent young girls. So to cut a long story short, I will be once again spending the 31st of December with my family and guests at our annual party thing. Not that I don’t enjoy seeing my dad and various other men around his age getting drunk but a change would have been nice. OK, I will stop complaining now, I honestly feel better after sharing this. It is normally pretty boring but I don’t want to offend the people that know me and attend our party as without them this really would be unbearable. So thank you Ani and CC, you are both wonderful!