(no subject)

Why is it the case that every time I post it is either to ask for something or because I am in the middle of an essay crisis? I don't think I like writing essays, even when I enjoy the topic, have done the reading have a plan and know where I stand. Especially if that is the case. Then the actual writing of the essay is just boring. I know what I am saying and how to get there, then why do I need to actually write it down? And sinse I am bored I just end up taking entirely too long to write all of my essays, why am I so slow? It is rediculous. Should have finished by lunch, am nowhere near finishing yet. It is quite stupid of me, not that the topic is so great, motivational judgement internalism....it is better than it sounds, but I don't see the point as the weaker form of it that is indorsed by all is basically the same as externalism and yeah none of you know what I am talking about, even I don't have a clue

oh god why can't I just write my essay, if I just write that instead of this, instead of checking my email, so lack any strenght of will or motivation. Dammit. If it is good for me to write my essay and I grasp that fact then surely I shall me be motivated to write it....

ha