katia: (:()
So I was sitting in Shakespeare's head in Holborn with a couple of friends, a pub I have been in many, many times, I was trying to cheer my friend up because her laptop was stolen at King's Cross a few days ago and she has exams in three weeks, and then I said, we should all be careful, let me just check my laptop is still here and upon looking under the table discovered that in fact it was gone! GONE! MY BEAUTIFUL LAPTOP AND worst of all EVERYTHING ON IT, ALL MY NOTES, ALL OF THEM! (And photos and music and films and fic and EVERYTHING!) You see TWO days ago the memory stick on which I had saved everything was acting really weird, saying it was full when it wasn't and I needed to transfer some photos and DELETED everything from it and hadn't got round to re-saving it. TWO days ago, I deleted my back up,. I am so so stupid. Also screwed. This is possibly my worst nightmare, to revise for exams with no notes. It's like the year is gone.

There was CCTV footage of the guy taking it, but his face was hidden, so nothing could be done, of course.

Then I was really upset, only to get to Euston and find out that I have to wait for a train for over an hour!! As opposed to the usual at most 10 minutes wait. And then I cried like a crazy person in the middle of the station.
katia: (Default)
I was going to post about my new found love of David Ford and the awesome gig I went to tonight with [personal profile] lauds and one of my housemates and how I did abysmally on my collections, but a glance at my flist showed me something I didn't want to believe but was forced to by all the repetition.

Heath Ledger has died. I am really upset right now, I have never been that upset about the death of a celebrity. I am just in a such a shock, he was so young, so talented, this is so sad. I love so many of his films and him. 


Nov. 16th, 2007 04:25 pm
katia: (Default)
I am in the SSL so often, I feel like I actually live here, I probably would if that was allowed. I could sleep on the sofas and all would be good.

I am here now, of course, I even have my own computer in the computer room where I have customised Firefox and it remembers my email to facebook and everything else. I also know all the computer room regulars, I don't know their names or anything but I spend so much time with them I feel that that is irrelevant.

I finished my essay and went to bed at 4 last night, which was okay I suppose but then Friday is almost gone and I am too tired to write my essay on the affect of the Media on India politics, even though it was due in yesterday for my tute. Oh well.

I think I might go back to my horrible dirty and cold house (long, ranty story, don't get me started!) and have a nap, possibly watch Heroes, that would be nice, everyone is finally liking that episode and I still haven't had time to see it! Well, I am not sure if my laptop is quite up to downloading anything, but I shall try. Oh yeah, my laptop, which just recently turned 1 year old has decided to die on me. It apparently needs a new hard drive, it sort of works still, but it ever so often restarts itself and it takes up to an hour to switch one once that happens which does make essay writing rather exciting. And does explain why I live in the computer room of the Social Sciences Library.

Okay if I am too tired to read about the cassette culture in India, it really is time to go home.



Oct. 29th, 2007 05:06 pm
katia: (procrastinate)
I am bored and can't concentrate on what I should be reading at all.

That is very bad as last week, I did nothing on the weekend and monday and consequently had the week of hell, no fun or sleep! At the end in worked out all right, in a miracle sort of way I did both of my essays, the second one in under 4 hours and my tutor really liked it though after, I was so shattered I slept half way through saturday.

Anyway, the point is that I alway tell myself: never again. I try to learn from my mistakes, but it is Monday evening and I have done very, very little and can't seem to concentrate for longer than about 2 minutes. At all.

And maybe because I haven't really gone anywhere since Saturday, which is really awful :( And so feel restless and jittery and should have gone to the library, but it is 25mins walk and I had to carry my lap top which is annoying, so I thought I will stay and read Durkheim: The Division of labour in society and I can't do it. :((

What should I do? Help!

Also I have been away so much that I feel like I am really missing out on fandom and LJ and everything and somhow I can never catch up and maybe this is a good thing, because for a long time now I have stopped feeling like I can really express myself here and I am not sure why.

But due to lack of internet I have missed:
  • [community profile] yuletide sign ups, I have done[community profile] yuletide the past 3 years and it is my favourite thing ever and I missed the deadline :(
  • The Dumbledore is gay squee, I only found out days late and by then people flist was less with the joy and more with the wank which made  me feel very sad
  • Heroes, I have now caught up, but I have missed reaction posts and fic and feel like it is odd to post my reactions so late after the fact, though perhaps this is partly due to my confusion over how I feel. I am a bit disappointed, but the last few eps have made me squee madly, so I keep hoping it will be as awesome as before. At least there is always Nathan. With a shotgun. And a Peter shrine. Wanting more is greedy. Also Sark and Hero are love. And I may be the only person in all the land, but I like West, so there!
  • And much, much more I am sure.
But on the bright side, Halloween is very soon and I am going to a party, though no clue how to dress up! I have finally started my Oxford application, and decided to leave the US alone and apply next year if I don't get in here, which is likely, and then spend the year doing things which can improve my US application. Not sure what things yet, but there is time. And, well can't think of anything else, as am feeling really down, but things are okay.


Apr. 24th, 2007 04:53 pm
katia: (Hiro)
This is a new form of torture. It is a cruel test, which I need to pass.

I have downloaded the new episode of Heroes, it is here on my computer,

However, I have written 1000 words of an essay due in tomorrow and have yet to begin reading for the essay due in on Thursday morning, for which the reading list is over ten starred books. I have half given up on that essay, though not being able to do both essays in week one is certainly not a good start. We are also going to the cinema with the tutor who the essay is for and so that would be an awkward conversation. (Though really, he should thank me, less marking!) 

Oh yeah I just really, really want to watch Heroes. But alas, it was not meant to be.

I have watched the first five minutes...

katia: (Default)
It is at the point where at at 1:49am you have written 250 words of an essay that was due in earlier the evening and are researching necrophilia for said essay that you know things are not going well, especially since you had to hand in your essay on the suckiness of the UN earlier that evening, several hours too late.

No I don't have time to say anything else to say right now only really felt like sharing my distaste at Plato's argument being examplified by love of the dead.

Long overdue update coming soon, after I sleep for a couple of days.
katia: (Default)
Why is it the case that every time I post it is either to ask for something or because I am in the middle of an essay crisis? I don't think I like writing essays, even when I enjoy the topic, have done the reading have a plan and know where I stand. Especially if that is the case. Then the actual writing of the essay is just boring. I know what I am saying and how to get there, then why do I need to actually write it down? And sinse I am bored I just end up taking entirely too long to write all of my essays, why am I so slow? It is rediculous. Should have finished by lunch, am nowhere near finishing yet. It is quite stupid of me, not that the topic is so great, motivational judgement internalism....it is better than it sounds, but I don't see the point as the weaker form of it that is indorsed by all is basically the same as externalism and yeah none of you know what I am talking about, even I don't have a clue

oh god why can't I just write my essay, if I just write that instead of this, instead of checking my email, so lack any strenght of will or motivation. Dammit. If it is good for me to write my essay and I grasp that fact then surely I shall me be motivated to write it....



Oct. 24th, 2006 07:46 pm
katia: (Default)
My fingers ache. Have just completed essay number one for the week, it is a pile of shit on virtue ethics and I am scared to reread it, but I don't even have the time to reread it. Have to start reading for my political theory essay, otherwise I am screwed. My back hurts. It's like I never move anymore. All day in my room, constantly working, then tutes all over for the week, a burst of relief as I can finally have a break. Go out, socialise, see people. Go to bed too late again. Become even more tired as I deseprately attempt to catch up sleep on the weekend but end up sleeping less. Somehow the weekend is over, have done nothing productive and not enough fun and suddenly it is Monday again. Two essay due in three days time and nothing else at all.

It is such a routine. I feel bored. It is unusual and unpleasant.

One thing I have never had here is a routine, there is always so much to do but never enough time and just work. No time to actually go to lectures. My neck hurts. Missed salsa yesterday. At least film night I organised in JCR was a success, watched the Motorcycle Diaries. Brilliant. Want to abandon everything and fly to South America. Laughable idea as am too scared to go places by myself even in Oxford.

There is a trampoline outside. In the centre of Main Quad, for a breast cancer charity people are going to be jumping 24hrs to raise money. A good idea, a fun way to do it. Only. I can hear the constant squeaking. It makes me nod my head and it is not even that loud, feels like a constant drilling in my brain. Shoulders hurt too. Perhaps am in need of a break but no time for one, need to read 50 pages before going to bed. At least rowing was cancelled this morning due to high waters or something, desperately needed those extra hours of sleep.


it is driving me crazy
katia: (Default)
Arfdyfgjkl;' Anngry, so angry. Also sad :(((

I don't know if I mentioned that but I got a shiny new laptop for my birthday, I have had it for three days and now it is BROKEN. The backward slash button is constantly pressed which makes it impossible to use as it makes about a page in word by itself after a minute or two, the mouse touch pad doesn't always click it makes a really weird noise when I turn it on. All in all not huge faults but after three fucking days you would thin there wouldn't be any faults.

Have spend all morning on the phone, most of the time just waiting for someone to pick up, oh wonderful support people how much I hate all of you. pojoihvugcyfxdtzrsweays5d6tufgum'zjsd Just, god I am going to Oxford on Thursday I need a working laptop to be here before then, I want it to be replaced or returned or something and SOON and there is noone I can actually talk to who can help me. They all just give me a different number where they tell me they are either busy or open only during office hours, which is really fucking frustrating, asdhgcefihry.

My shiny new laptop is not so shiny anymore. :((((

In other news I got an email from one of my college sons this morning, yay he sounds really nice *is a proud mother*

Why do I only end up posting when I am angry or upset? Nevermind. Off to call them again.
katia: (Winter/I'm cold)
It's snowing. Enormous snowflakes. In mid april. WTF, weather, WTF?

I am beginning to think that it will never be spring ever. :(
katia: (Default)
I was about to begin a post with a no doubt fruitless attempt to articulate my feelings of restlessness, inability to concentrate and the reasons for my wasting of the last *four* hours when I could have completed my philosophy reading or at least participated in the watching of a girly film next door. However I thankfully realised on time that it would be unnecessarily melodramatic and the explanation is simple:
1. I am sleepy.
2. Bennett makes less sense than Locke himself
and 3. The chocolate biscuits are nearing their end. :( I am feeling sad about leaving Oxford once again and want to spend the evening with friends, however also need to to this essay and as a result am doing nothing.

Maybe I just need to go to bed.

In other news. I read the penultimate DV chapter and cannot believe it is almost over, the Draco Trilogy has been one of the staples of fandom ever since I first got here and something I used to fangirl immensely (to the extend that me and [profile] anna_bonita used to text each other when it was updated) and though I still like it I feel that the ending will be a bit of a letdown whatever happens (unless Harry and Draco profess their undying love for each other, which isn't very likely, oh and Ginny and Blaise too) after all this time. Perhaps I need something new and fresh to rejuvenate my fandom love, I have seen very little mention of the Big Bang fics, are they really not that good? I have read only one and it was okay, though very far from brilliance. Maybe I should read more, feel like reading OC fic but no one around agrees with me and everyone is talking about fandoms and tv shows I have never seen/heard of. Am so out of touch. Oh yeah if anyone does watch the OC, Ryan/Johnny is the new Ryan/Seth for me, but I have not been able to find a single fic out there. Woe.
katia: (Default)
So fucking sick and cold, how can it be so cold when I am in fact wearing this amount of clothes? :((

Have to do maths on top of everything.

Why me?

Nov. 9th, 2005 03:14 pm
katia: (Default)
I seem to have lost my debit card.

Last time I got money out was on Saturday, haven't used it since for anything, it is gone, hopefully lost and not stolen while I was in London because that would be even worse. I am in the possession of 85p.

What the hell do I do now? Apart from crying.

ETA I have just cancelled it, if I find it in half an hour or something I will die. It will take them 5 to 7 working days to send me a new one. They will send it to my parents' address and not here. So let's say two weeks. I need money *now*, as a student living away from home and with no cheque book I am screwed.


katia: (Default)
Distracted by shiny things

May 2009



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