katia: (Merlin)
Day 1 in the library without a laptop has been more than productive, have become super paranoid though and log a huge stack of books with me even during coffee breaks. The situation is Not That Bad, because I have wonderful friends who will give me notes, I had in fact emailed a fair amount of things to myself and I hadn't actually read that much in the first place, I am still upset, but trying not to think about it. Am now using mum's old laptop and readjusting myself to XP (probably only person in world to actually like Vista...)

I am extremely disaster prone when it comes to computers, the speed with which I go through laptops is actually pretty spectacular and this one had survived without spontaneously combusting for 15 months, so it was clearly time for it to go. (seriously I went trawling through old posts to try and find accounts of previous laptop disasters, though I am sure there are at least two more)

Anyway, the reason for this post is that apart from notes, photos, music and films I also lost my bookmarks (yes I am weird and outdated and don't understand how del.icio.us works, so it was all in my browser) so now I have lost all the Merlin fic I had planned on reading. (and my big bang, but let's not talk about that now) Some would say that is a good thing, as I have to study, but really I just want long Merlin/Arthur AUs and haven't got the time to thrawl through comms too find it...

So PLEASE REC ME MERLIN FICS, or even better rec lists, any really, I haven't been reading very much recently, so please don't leave out the obvious fic that everyone has read, as chances are that's exactly what I can't remember the title of and have been looking for!

P.S. That is why I love Gossip Girl


Feb. 22nd, 2009 05:35 pm
katia: (writing)
It's been a while. Again. I don't really know why I don't post ever, because I check my flist all the time and have a lot of things to say, though perhaps am no longer feeling lj is the best forum for that. Maybe a blog may be the answer. We'll see. I keep taking pictures I want to post, but it's so much effort doing that, maybe I will get a paid account again.

For some reason I only post when I have shit loads of work (THREE essays and a presentation for next week, why do I do this to myself?!) and never anything of substance to say. Hmm.

A brief look at my life right now, nicely categorised and all.
  • Education: still getting firsts on essays and not speaking in class, had to submit dissertation title and synopsys on Friday, came up with that in the process of filling in the form, oops, inconsistent performance when it comes to presentations.
  • Friends: somehow balancing Ox and LSE people pretty well, though lately have seen a lot more of the latter, but have been doing lunches with the former, some new people that are a lot of fun.
  • Travel: Yeah Morocco was very recent and I have no money but am going to Barcelona at the end of term, the whole of my course is going, it is going to be an educational trip, it was the idea of our tutors and we are going to have classes. This is so totally valid!
  • Love: that dreaded day was only a week ago, was going to post a rant against it but had to get ready to go out and ran out of time, did have a surprisingly fun, drunken and debauched evening, more generally things are confusing me from more than one direction
  • London: I adore this city, had a plan to do cultural things and that was going pretty well at the start of term with a visit to Tate Modern, the theatre and ballet, but then there was snow and essays, have been walking everywhere, oh how relative distance is
  • Oxford: went to Oxford for the first time since since finals, it was wonderful of course, beautiful and cold and I realised how much I missed the familiarity of the streets and Univ and the Covered Market and everything else.
  • Job: nothing to report here, haven't applied anywhere, because I am a failure.
  • Cinema: Have recently seen Slumdog Millionaire and Milk, though very much enjoyed both, maybe Milk more, thought that may have a lot to do with being in the most luxurious cinema ever.
  • TV: Heroes: it's okay, the last few eps especially, but I will never forgive them for Nathan, Gossip Girl: continues to be awesome, it's not like I watch it for a realistic representation of teens, L word: can make me really angry, and I know the ending will upset me, but still highly entertaining, Skins S3: I enjoy it, though it really has thrown reality out of the window and contains a character I want to kill.
  • Fandom: I miss Merlin, have developed a mad love for AUs, maybe will post some recs soon.
That's pretty much it. I will try to drop by more often, so that my entries are not simply lots of info that is of interest to no one,
katia: (Default)
As you may know, after graduating instead of doing the smart sensible thing and looking for a job I decided to cling to academia and spend lots of money which I don't have on a masters, so on Friday I found my way to the London School of Economics and registered for my course and then I went home. And tomorrow, I am going back, as there are a couple of inductions and the joy that is Freshers' week. Oh dear. See when I did this the first time around by virtue of being thrown together in college you can't but meet people, being a graduate however is different, LSE is different, and commuting from home is very different. So I don't know anyone. But I still want to do fun things in Freshers' week, only there is the problem of knowing no one and having nowhere to stay if I do go out.

I don't know what to do, I am sure that once lectures and seminars begin I will meet people, and I do know a lot of people in London, and [livejournal.com profile] anna_bonita and one person I know from Oxford are at LSE, but in the short term the situation is pretty dire. London is big and scary and I was so looking forward to this, and now I am just not sure what to do.

And now I am off to my Russian course, which is wonderful, there are 7 of us, the youngest after me is 50-something, the oldest 70-something, it certainly isn't what I expected when I signed up, but everyone is very keen and I am enjoying it

Note: All of you that are in London and not averse to the idea of meeting me, eh, please do! I know it has been a while, but I would so love to see any and all of you for a drink/coffee/walk whatever!

katia: (Default)

I’ve been wanting to update. But what to say? What I have been doing? Well everything at first and now somehow I am back to nothing. I don’t know. I am at home, have been here for almost two weeks, today is the first day that I am by myself, as my parents have gone on holiday and apart from pretty much a whole season of Doctor Who (not yet the finale, started watching because of all of your reactions!) done anything.

I was clearing out some of my stuff and found a diary I was keeping when I was 15, god 6 years ago, it lasted about a year I think, as I found LJ afterwards and stopped writing about my feelings. It is a horrible pink diary with a broken lock, it contains lists of my friends and people I wanted to kiss, and it is full of swearing and “I will so die if…” and a lot of I hate everyone and “my friend’s being a bitch” and “I am so lonely” which I don’t really remember being. It really is a cliché, the way it is written is quite horrific. It keeps talking about some boy I fancied, only his name didn’t really ring a bell and I have absolutely no idea what he looked like. None at all. Apparently I liked him for ages, which I vaguely remember, but that was so no long ago, in year 10 and not remembering scares me.

Does it mean that this is what will happen to the last three years? Are they going to disappear save for the few random posts I have on here? God I hope not, but it was different while I was living it, my time in Oxford seemed like it would continue for ever, a never ending spell of essays and friends and happiness and I could never imagine it ending. And now it has, and I still don’t believe it. I don’t think I truly will until the autumn when I don’t go back there, or perhaps sooner when my email stops working. (The idea of that freaks me out, but I am sure it will be fairly soon) or maybe even results day. Which is meant to be tomorrow, but somehow I doubt it. I hate the lack of certainty and keep checking. I guess that is why I am updating, wanted to do so before I know what my degree class is. And I have no idea what that will be, I have hopes and nightmares but perhaps tomorrow it will be all clear. And if the degree class is what it is supposed to be, in October I will be going to London, to LSE to study International Relations. I am so very excited about the prospect of that and terrified I won’t make friends, I won’t like it, I won’t…

I don’t know, it’s just been a bit of a shock adjusting from living with my friends and seeing them every day to going home, where I don’t really have any friends left. And everyone else is so busy and I don’t really know what to do. I just really miss always being around lots of people. Have read four books in the past week. But in between the books I've felt so lonely.

I guess I am being a bit melodramatic, it's getting late, I should go to bed. I never really write in here any more, I am not sure why, I suppose I feel that the anonymity of early days is long gone, and with it the ease with which honesty came. And I feel like I can't say what need, so I say nothing. Maybe I should return to the pink diary with the broken lock.

katia: (panic! :()

Things that I might have said today:

  •          While crossing the High Street: “What do you think will be better, if you get hit by a bus before your first exam or after your last?”
  •          “Snow, beautiful snow” said with a manic grin while throwing the shredded remains of a napkin at dinner.
  •        “This is what my brain looks like right now” After repeatedly squishing a plastic cup “Empty and with holes”
  •         “Boxes, boxes, boxes!” to everyone in the library and later to self like a mantra after discovering the secret to creating mind maps which are legible.
  •        “You know, I don’t know anything, but I keep hoping that all the revision wouldn’t have been in vain and somehow magically things will pop in my brain when I need them”

katia: (Winter/I'm cold)
I can't leave the angry post out there for so long.

Nonetheless a short drama update

In other news things are less good than last week, because I had 5 revision classes this week and spend most of it a) not working and b) franticly attempting to read my old essays so as to know something for the class, only not actually learning anything.

And I still haven't applied to LSE and I don't really know how to write this personal statement, which is so much longer than the Oxford one and just completely different!

On the bright side my food intake of today consists of a chocolate croissant for breakfast and a Belgium waffle with ice cream and maple syrup for lunch. I know that sounds awful, but oh my god it was good.

I am in the college library and really bored. I also have nothing else to say. Hope everyone has had a good weekend. Link me to something entertaining pretty please!
katia: (Default)
I am ill and that is rather tragic, for everyone else has already gone through the illness stage and is now getting better and I thought that I had for once survived unscathed but sadly it is not the case. It is never the case, my immune system is poo. Throat hurts rather insistently second day in a row and I know that when I wake up tomorrow I will feel utterly awful.

But I need to write an essay tomorrow and read for another one and not be ill. :(

Weekend was good, spend ages in the library, because all my books are confined (For being such a popular option, IR sucks when it comes to books, they are rarer than gold :( ) but the library closes early on weekend and they kick you out and if you have no books you can't do work and are free!

So went to the Duke of Cambridge for half prize awesome cocktail, then out to dinner, so nice to do that without the guilt.

Watched Blood Diamond. It is amazing. Recommend it to everyone, it is just so real, behind Leo's dodgy accent and the random thing with the random reporter there is such a powerful story and it is real and it hurts. It's one thing to be aware that there are child soldiers in Africa, a very different kind of knowledge is seeing them. I was in tears for a large part of it, starting to sob only about three minutes into the film. Amnesty are currently doing a campaign and the facts are scary.

Today was the coldest day this term, after the mildness of the last week it was a shock to go outside wrapped up in a million jumpers and scarf and gloves and feel so utterly, horribly cold.
katia: (Hermione failing!)
6 signs that I have done too 'much' revision or why Katia will fail her prelims/collections/everything
  1. I tidied my room
  2. I did some ironing without being asked by my mum repeatedly.
  3. I painted my nails pink.
  4. I paid vague attention while my brother made me listen to music from various people's myspaces.
  5. I spend ages on Wikipedia following links and reading up on a range of random topics
  6. I am writing a list, wtf?
Yes. I am procrastinating again. I am not very good at revising, because it bores me, no matter how interesting the topic was when I first did it, now everything is just boring. On the bright side I had chocolate cheesecake for dessert and it was rather wonderful. Mmm.

Also I really have no clue how to revise for politcs apart from reading my notes/essays, same with philosophy and reading notes is not exciting or motivating. I want interactive learning, I want to revise with someone else. That would be so much more fun. Any revision pointers are very much welcomed.
katia: (Default)
Hello! Have not updated in ages and too many things have happened for me to attempt a proper update. Will try anyway. :D

  1. It is very cold and crisp, walking through the starlit quads at night gives me such a wonderful feeling of happiness and content and a general sense of belonging. Cannot quite believe that on Saturday I will be going home for just under six weeks. Will miss Oxford and all the wonderful people I have met, Ahmed's Kebab Van, Ben's Cookies, The Bodleian, even Hall food! Well, not that last one, but still. Also my room, can't believe candidates will sleep here whilst I am gone, can't believe it has been almost a year since my own interview. Remember exactly how terrified I was.
  2. FRANZ FERDINAND tomorrow, hopefully will be able to get to Alexandra Palace, not sure how exactly. Thought that I could stay the night in London, but not sure anymore, as don't know where and will have to be back at college for 11 on Thursday for an important meeting.
  3. The vast majority of my friends are at a Ball tonight, I didn't go because have not got a spare fifty quid for a ticket or a dress, instead went to Sainsbury's and bought bread then went to the JCR and watched Trainspotting, had not seen it and it was one of those films I have always wanted to see. Um, I did like it, but I am not sure why and I want to see it again.
  4. Had lovely dinner with the other people that do PPE here and then watched The Rules of Attraction, omg how awesome was that, yes I am shallow and Ian Somerhalder kissing boys is enough for me to squee over a film, I cannot believe there is no fic in which Sean/Paul happens in a more real way than Paul's daydreams. I want to read the book.
  5. I am sure most of you have seen this, however OMG so awesome! You put in music you like and it makes you a radio station that consists of what you said and similar songs, it is awesome and so far no adverts.
  6. Last Bop of term is on Friday, theme's Fantasies. I am sure there are other ways to interpret this, but my interpretation is sexual, have not completely decided on a costume, but am leaning towards a nurse's outfit, because one of the themed nights for the Ski trip is Pirates and Nurses so I will end up wearing it again. The other is white trash. Ugh.
  7. Lots of people have already decided who to marry for next year, we get to be College parents for next year's freshers and I don't know who to marry! Wah, I didn't want to marry a PPEist and so my closest friends have found someone and now I don't know who to marry. Wangst, I know, heh. Will propose to someone as soon as I have figured out who I want.

  8. On Saturday had first cocktail party, to celebrate the end of The Christ Church regatta (rowing competition), I couldn't care less about rowing, but dressing up and going to Freud's, a gorgous converted church was well worth it. It was an amazing night, everyone thought I was drunk and I only had two drinks! Grasshoppers are awesome, I love chocolate minty things, chocolate Mint Bliss at Starbucks is like the best thing ever!
  9. Have only a bit of logic left to do and no more tutorials this term, finishing off the last economics work was sort of hell, but it was then that I realised how happy I was. It was one am, I was wondering around college, (had to retrieve a copy of my text book from a friend's room where I'd left it), it was ridiculously cold, I'd slept too few hours the night before. And yet, I felt sort of elated, it is hard to explain why really. I hadn't even started writing up the three short (two page) essays due in the next morning. I think it had something to do with running into people on the way there and back and stopping for casual chats despite the late hour, seeing the lights of the other PPEists and knowing they too are working on this, calling them at half one to go buy chips and cheese as a break. Sleeping for four hours and still somehow making it to the 10 o'clock lecture. Um. Yeah, I am a freak. :))
  10. I bought Christmas Cards, they are wondreful and have snuggling polarbears and penguins!!
And on a final note, I have a Cedric/Harry bunny that refuses to go away and shall have to be written. Yeah I know I haven't written anything in months and am afraid, but will try my best. In the mean time, have a few (too few, seriously, where is the Harry/Cedric?) Harry/Cedric recs:

katia: (laughter)
Good Morning people! I resisted getting up, but it appears faith is against me. Went out yesterday to Park End, it was insane but in a good way, luckily I didn't drink much so no hangover or anything, the downside to that is that I lack an excuse for my behaviour. Yesterday was not as horribly hectic, however it was better and I like people more, or I like more people at least.

This morning, [livejournal.com profile] deianra called me at half seven, which was nice and if it was only that I wouldn't have bothered mentioning it, however later on as soon as I fell asleep there was a fire alarm!! I don't even know if it was a drill or not, but I think that it wasn't, I did dress in like two seconds, but most people hadn't and there was someone in a towel. Then I went to bed again only to hear lovely drills and other building noises. So yeah Good Morning to me... And to think that I have a free morning, sinse the being online right now.

Missed breakfast, hungry now.

I feel like I have been away for the longest time, it is strange to think that in the real world it's only been a couple of days. However I do feel so disconeceted from fandom, though I have a couple of fics that need to be posted. I think I will create a filter and annoy only the few of you who are interested in the whole university experience. :D
katia: (H/D art by djinniyah)
Going to Nottingham to visit a friend and get an early start on university experienses. Yay!

Only problem, there will be a themed party, but I don't know what the theme is.

Be back on Sunday.

Luck to people going to uni then.

katia: (Keira)

Last few days have been very busy, only with things I want to be doing as opposed to things I ned to be doing.

Watched Pride and Prejudice yesterday and loved it, it has been too long since I've read it so I didn't really notice inconsistencies and what not which is good. Keira did well in my opinion, certainly better than I thought she would (Though I find it funny when she is meant to be the 'plainer' sister, because...well) and Mathew MacFadyen made an excellent Darcy. The music and the sets were gorgeous and it just had the right sort of atmosphere. Bingley was just so cute and Jane was quite perfect, in a fresh sort of innocent way. Mr Wickham looks like Orlando Bloom which is weird. I heart Jane an awful lot but I do wish Kitty and Lydia didn't giggle quite so much. I adored Mr Bennet, but then again I always have. As a final thought I wished there had been a Darcy/Elizabeth kiss, because the ending with Mr Bennet's prolonged laughter bordered on the creepy.

I also went shopping (Again, I should really stop this) and nearly found a suit for uni that fits me, I've been having problems with that, all the jackets are either too big or the sleeves are too short and if they fit I can't find a maching skirt. I bought one from GAP of all places, but my mum dissaproves and so will be rturning the jacket shortly. Argh! It is so annoying needing a suit from Uni, I am running out og places to look.

However yesterday I received three postcards from my college parents!!! I though I didn't have college parents, and was sad about that but I do and they are lovely. My father is doing Classics and Russian and my mother PPE, I also have a brother. The postcards are completely full with writing and I have been offered biscuits and in a round about way condoms...

Will soon be in possession of my computer (we bought a new hard drive), it wil be empty but at least I will have time to get things onto it before I go, and we could still possibly extract things from the old hard drive.

I do miss the internet you.

katia: (Hayden)
Three days without the constant presence of my laptop and the difference can definitely be felt:

1. I have a lot more spare time which for once I have used wisely. Have read half of my Logics book and so far I love it! I didn't think I would, but it is fabulous and interesting and different. The first exercise was "Try to convince yourself that human beings have five legs. Allow yourself about a minute." Doesn't that rule? It so does.

2. I have spend a lot more money. I just decide that shopping is a good way to spend one's time when I am not glued to my laptop and as a result am the owner of quite a few new items, including lovely white shoes. I heart shoes. Money well spend this time, last week when I went shopping the result was rather different, still I am sure I can make use of a gorgeous red mini dress.

3. I get bored and I miss you lot. Yeah, I know it seems like I am here, but I have to share with my brother and there are no instant messengers of any kind and I am forced to switch it off very early. I know I am 19 but my mum doesn't seem to care.

I still have hopes that my files can be extracted, my dad thinks that getting a new hard drive and accessing the old one and moving the things I want is a possibility, he said that everyone at his work is convinced it won't work and I am afraid that most of my things are protected but the hope is still here.
katia: (WTF? Draco)

Just watched Spiderman 2, I can't believe I hadn't done so earlier, yay he is the best superhero! Now, where is the slash?

In other news, I went to the pub today instead of going out because for some odd reason staying at home and doing nothing is dead tiring. Me and my friend's peaceful conversation was interrupted by three horrible drunk men, one looked like a football hooligan with an England shirt and a black eye, the others were marginally better.

I will share the horror of part of our 'conversation' because it is too bad not to share.

What was your name again? Magenta? )

ETA There was a SPIDER IN MY BED! I flicked it off and then a little while later it was there AGAIN! OMG! I am terrifed of spiders and it was there twice!!! I can't go to sleep now! :(((

katia: (red!)

I've always wanted to live in a big city, but one day in London was quite enough for me, the number of things that happened to me today is almost unbelievable. (police with guns, being evacuated, getting lost, joining a mob, shouting at the angry mob, running away from the angry mob, etc etc) My cousin from Bulgaria is visiting and today me and a friend took him to London to do all the touristy things, I was a bit nervous about going, but at the end of the day we can't be afraid forever.

Read more, a lot more )
katia: (Harry)

Wow, I could hear the Oasis concert from my room, which is miles away from The Bowl, so well. Weird. A concert has never been so loud before, I don't think. It is nice to be a walking distance away from a big concert venue though, I can't wait for the Eminem one.

And it seems like today everyone is discussing Spoiler Policies and such, I will of course use cuts and things when discussing any, usually I am the biggest spoiler whore, read the ending almost before the beginning, (I always knew Sirius was Harry's godfather even before I knew who Sirius was, and I knew that Moody wasn't Moody) but since OotP when I found out about Sirius and I didn't want to do so my spoiler reading tendencies have changed. Well I still read the spoilers floating around right now, (I am not sure why, I am annoyed with myself for always having to click every stupid link) but I am refusing to believe them, a few sound like they are taken from badfic, but one will make me feel incredibly smug so I sort of hope it is true.

My legs hurt, my parents dragged me along for a country walk thing in the heat and I walked for hours. In a way it was nice, the countryside was pretty and there were lovely horses and rabbits and a deer! However it was too hot at times and my feet are not used to walk for four hours. The worst thing was that the pub in which we were going to have lunch in stopped serving food at 2, we of course got there at quarter past and so had to have crisps and peanuts for lunch and walk a couple of more hours before we could get back to the car. Despite all this it was fun, am not likely to do it again soon, but it was a nice and different way to spend day, thanks to a good map we hardly even got lost.

katia: (R/S)

Spend entirely too many hours shopping today and as a result bought absolutely nothing. Zilch. I really wanted to buy something, I tried lots of things on but didn't like anything enough to buy it. I did however see Mr and Mrs Smith and really liked it, which is surprising considering the lack of plot and the constant fighting, but then again I've always known I am shallow and the hotness of the film was too much to be allowed, it was funny too which helped. Also, Adam Brody was in it and I love him. He also brings me rather nicely to the OC's season finale which finally aired here today, I was spoiled but some bits did surprise me. Thoughts including spoilers )

I have been reading the fics from [livejournal.com profile] big_bang_hd, so far I've read Wheel of Fortune and Queen of Hearts, it has been entirely too long since I've read any long and plotty H/D fics, especially post OotP ones and those two were really good for very different reasons, can't wait to read the other two.

katia: (Default)

Can't believe my last post was the one with the pre prom wangst, heh, anyway the Prom was surprisingly good, much better than I thought it would be and much better than the Year 11 one. I did end up forgetting my ID (still got served though, yay!) as well as my camera resulting in no taken by me pics, my friends took quite a few so hopefully I will have some. This wasn't my Prom by the way, but my old school's Prom and it was so nice to see all the teachers again, they all remembered me and were being really nice, most of the people too. I was afraid that I will feel like I don't belong, after all two years is a long time but I didn't even need a drink before I felt like one of them again. It was a lovely feeling, I danced for hours and had so much fun which is all due to the flat shoes I decided to wear, the memory from last time was too strong for me to wear heels again. It was really sad at times, as they showed pics of us from year 8 and played appropriate music with quotes and I can't believe I left two whole years ago.More, I like remembering things )

After Prom we went to an after party and as a result I only got an hour and a half of sleep that night, (we went to sleep at about four and woke up at 5! I have no idea why, it was certainly not nice.) But the best thing was that two of my friends read fic including slash, hurray for slashers, we will take over the world one day! yay for cuts )

So I slept a few hours during the day and then went to a birthday party which I had to leave early because I had promised someone else to go out before that. I *really* didn't feel like going out after not sleeping at all the night before, but the night turned out really good. We were going to go home just before two but at the last moment we took a taxi to another club instead and I'd never been there before and it was awesome. So I got home at half three and that made it two nights without sleep, yay! Yesterday just flew past, there was another birthday party and when I got home I spend entirely long reading through the latest hate meme. I have no idea why, it was really lame and quite pathetic and I had hope it will improve but it didn't.

Which brings us to today, hmm that was a long post I still have stuff to say but time to get some lunch now.

Oh and the results of my Sorting Poll really shocked me, why did *no one* thought I am a Ravenclaw? :( Don't I talk about school constantly? Well I don't mind being a Gryffindor if only for the fact that I am neither brave nor a spontaneous risk taker. I have tagged *all* my entries and I am really dull and am surprised you all stand me, glad you do though.

katia: (smoking by me)

My computer clearlly hates me, and it is not ON! It is just so random with things working and then not working, MSN logs me on and off just like that and now refuses to work at all and the number of pop ups I get is ridiculous. I suspect I have a virus or spy ware or something and it sucks as I have no skill or time to attempt to fix it. Mmm, not a good opening for a post, but I had things to say and now can't remember them, so..

I feel like this past week just flew by and I had plans to do things and go through a lot of revision, which sort of didn't happen. And so now I am all omg, need to catch up and it is so boring because I have done it before and retaking sucks anyway.

Another thing that sucks is Big Brother, I don't like any of them and I haven't even watched it. My mind is made up and this is a very good thing as it will mean that I won't get ridiculously obsessed and watch it like I did last year during study leave. Before last year I proclaimed to the world my hatred for Big Brother and how pointlessly stupid it is, but then I started watching it... I do get so easily obsessed, it's not even funny, but in my excuse last year's BB was really quite awesome, I loved all the people or at least hated them, which is pretty much the same. *expects massive defriending* I *know* it is awful, but I can't help it.

Friday was the hottest day ever and I was alone in the library (we finished last week, but had to go in for revision sessions, so it felt like the last day for real, but won't get into that now. I don't count it as over until my last exam) and I couldn't concentrate on anything, it was just that hot and so I wrote fic. I feel ridiculiusly proud, as it has been ages since I have written anything, and I sort of like it too. It is not finished, but I will finish it and post it and yay, fic!

Also, I went to a party on Friday, with people from my old school, it was nice, because I could tell myself that even though I moved away I still keep in touch and the same thing will happen with people from my current school and keeping in touch is possible and easy. I could say so and believe it, because I am still invited to the parties, still talk to them on MSN (when it lets me log in) and am the only one of the people that left to be going to their Prom. So looking at it from this perspective, then I did manage to keep my friends. And yet, and yet it is really not the same at all. It is months between each time I see them and the prolonged time means that we have nothing much to say to each other, especially if all of us are present (10 people) and at the party I felt so isolated, like I didn't belong. Not to say I was separated or didn't talk to anyone, I did, but I just wasn't one of them any more. And how can I be, they see each other every day I am just someone they see once every couple of months and we have grown apart, have very little in common and it is sad, so sad. It makes me think that that same thing will happen with my friends from my curreent school and I don't want that to happen. Meh, this has no point, also I don't know why I never use my school's name or people's names for that matter, I just feel odd and never do it. With pictures too, I could never post pictures of my friends on LJ, I would feel like I am disrespecting theit privacy, which is silly, but I just can't help it.

Going to bed now, because I feel dead and my right hand really aches. I am not sure why.


katia: (Default)
Distracted by shiny things

May 2009



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