katia: (panic! :()
I am really pleased about the Oscars, though that maybe because the only nominated films I'd actually seen were Slumdog and Milk and really love Kate but still.

In other news, I have to do THREE essays this week and a presentation and I am scared. I have no idea why I left things so late, but I have and now should just write essay number one, only it needs to be good, because it is in the class where my other essay was bad and my presentation was really bad and my tutor must think I am stupid. Need to prove him wrong, but am unable to write this essay. I don't know why, it is an interesting topic (Feminist Security Theory) and I have done lots of reading but it's like a mental block. But I need to write it now, so that after a double seminar tomorrow can write essay no 2 in the afternoon, as both are for Wednesday. Essay number 2 is much easier and I know it will be good, like the two before it, with very minimum effort. But 1 is evil and I really need it to be good, so I know it won't be. 3 is for Friday. Or at least I am physically incapable of writing it before that. Have sort of done presentation, at least.
 
I am doomed.

P.S. Bought a paid account for the first time in ages and have lots of pretty new icons! Yay!


ETA: Oh and none of my comments have been emailed to me for a while now, has this happened to anyone else? It is very annoying!
katia: (Default)
It is at the point where at at 1:49am you have written 250 words of an essay that was due in earlier the evening and are researching necrophilia for said essay that you know things are not going well, especially since you had to hand in your essay on the suckiness of the UN earlier that evening, several hours too late.

No I don't have time to say anything else to say right now only really felt like sharing my distaste at Plato's argument being examplified by love of the dead.

Long overdue update coming soon, after I sleep for a couple of days.
katia: (Default)
Why is it the case that every time I post it is either to ask for something or because I am in the middle of an essay crisis? I don't think I like writing essays, even when I enjoy the topic, have done the reading have a plan and know where I stand. Especially if that is the case. Then the actual writing of the essay is just boring. I know what I am saying and how to get there, then why do I need to actually write it down? And sinse I am bored I just end up taking entirely too long to write all of my essays, why am I so slow? It is rediculous. Should have finished by lunch, am nowhere near finishing yet. It is quite stupid of me, not that the topic is so great, motivational judgement internalism....it is better than it sounds, but I don't see the point as the weaker form of it that is indorsed by all is basically the same as externalism and yeah none of you know what I am talking about, even I don't have a clue

oh god why can't I just write my essay, if I just write that instead of this, instead of checking my email, so lack any strenght of will or motivation. Dammit. If it is good for me to write my essay and I grasp that fact then surely I shall me be motivated to write it....

ha

squeak

Oct. 24th, 2006 07:46 pm
katia: (Default)
My fingers ache. Have just completed essay number one for the week, it is a pile of shit on virtue ethics and I am scared to reread it, but I don't even have the time to reread it. Have to start reading for my political theory essay, otherwise I am screwed. My back hurts. It's like I never move anymore. All day in my room, constantly working, then tutes all over for the week, a burst of relief as I can finally have a break. Go out, socialise, see people. Go to bed too late again. Become even more tired as I deseprately attempt to catch up sleep on the weekend but end up sleeping less. Somehow the weekend is over, have done nothing productive and not enough fun and suddenly it is Monday again. Two essay due in three days time and nothing else at all.

It is such a routine. I feel bored. It is unusual and unpleasant.

One thing I have never had here is a routine, there is always so much to do but never enough time and just work. No time to actually go to lectures. My neck hurts. Missed salsa yesterday. At least film night I organised in JCR was a success, watched the Motorcycle Diaries. Brilliant. Want to abandon everything and fly to South America. Laughable idea as am too scared to go places by myself even in Oxford.

There is a trampoline outside. In the centre of Main Quad, for a breast cancer charity people are going to be jumping 24hrs to raise money. A good idea, a fun way to do it. Only. I can hear the constant squeaking. It makes me nod my head and it is not even that loud, feels like a constant drilling in my brain. Shoulders hurt too. Perhaps am in need of a break but no time for one, need to read 50 pages before going to bed. At least rowing was cancelled this morning due to high waters or something, desperately needed those extra hours of sleep.

squeak...squeak...squeak...

it is driving me crazy

Hey!

Jan. 22nd, 2006 10:10 pm
katia: (Default)
I am writing an essay and of course think this is the best time to update, also I just felt like saying hello. How is everyone?

My neighbour, (I don't think I have mentioned her before, she is sort of crazy has a loud tv at all hours and shouts "I don't care" randomly when she is alone, I sort of hate her, but though we share a wall, I can't get to her room without going to the next staircase) has someone over and they are shouting and yufglkjl I am not happy, so I am listening to loud music, which means I can hear them less, but am also dancing on my chair and not writing my econ essay, even though it's not that difficult and for tomorrow.

I never realised how much more fun essay writing is when music is involved. Yay.

Just wanted to say thank to a few people, my parents came to visit and brought me food and things I had forgotten and some post, which yay.

Thank you [livejournal.com profile] fatale (eee, your name really is love!) for a most beautiful V day card, which I really did not expect. It is just so gorgeous and yay, also the chocolates which I don't want to eat because they are just so cute. Thank you!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

I used to complain about getting no mail through my pigeon hole apart from flyers, but this term I had two very lovely things, and yay (belated) thanking, because I want to.

Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] sparksandclocks for an amzing purple angel bear keyring which now means I can actually find my key and sometimes even lock my door. Jodie you are unbelievebly lovely, I want to send you something back, even if isn't quite the hot cellist you asked for. *loves*

Last term I went to get a Neil Gaiman signing and [livejournal.com profile] loneraven's friend took a pic of me with Neil on her phone and last week I got the pictures all shiny and proper in my pidge, such a lovely surprise. Thank you Iona! :D *mwah*

I always feel so very absent when I get here, but this term I will make effort to be around, I want to know what is going on!



katia: (Default)
I am so BORED!

I am supposed to be writing an essay, I *am* writing an essay but I am so bored of it that I am doing everything possible in order to avoid it, mainly eating but also checking my email a million times. I was good this time, spend all day yesterday in various libraries doing all the necessary reading, have way too many pages of notes, some are even relevant, and know exactly what each paragraph will consists of.

This is a problem. I know so much that writing it up bores me to tears. I don't understand how people work with plans, especially when it comes to creative writing, how the hell do you do a detailed plan and are then interested enough to carry on?

It must be a gift that I will never possess, and it's been so long sinse I have actually written anything (creative, not essays unfortunately).

I guess I should add something constructive seeing as I am updating and all...

Um.
  • I didn't get a ticket for the Snow Ball and I really wanted to go. :(
  • I have so much work for the next couple of days I suspect I won't get to do any of the fun things I want to do. 
  • We have a Pink! Bop on Friday and money will go to Breast Cancer research, it's at the same time as Tolkien soc's Fireworks party, the HP soc's Halloween Feast and a film I want to see. Decisions are evil and should die.

  • I survived my first economics tutorial and even somehow did well on my essay, even if my graph was completely different form other people's it was apparently correct.
  • I had a half seven Fire Drill yesterday morning and thought it was 2 o'clock and panicked and left my key in my room, thankfully after checking they'd left the door open.
  • I should go back to my essay now even though I want to have ice cream and possibly pizza instead.
  • I have tried to catch up with flist but if you think I have missed anything crucial please link me.
  • I have no bread but I do have cheese and biscuits.

  • I want to do something but lack the courage to do it.
  • I feel so restless and full of pent up energy but can't afford the time wasted of going to Yoga, should not have updated.

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